There’s an old Aesop’s fable called “The Swallow and the Crow”. In it, the two birds compare their feathers. While the Swallow brags about her delicate, beautiful wings that are built for travel, the Crow points out that his own thick feathers are what actually survive even the harshest winter elements.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this fable as Johann, Will, and I have navigated our first fortnight here in Clonmel. For those two weeks, Johann and I have been the Swallows – vulnerable, move-lagged (our term for not really being able to claim jet lag since we’re only one hour behind German time, and yet we still feel tired and a little off), and a bit disoriented. Will is the Crow, already rooted in his community, settled, and winter-proofed against the daily realities of Irish life.

Moving into his home means learning how to lean on his sturdy, established nest while Johann and I grow the all-weather feathers we need to thrive in this strange place. Add to that, we are simultaneously navigating the shift of going from a family of two to a brand-new family of three. There is a lot to work with.

So far, though, the Emerald Isle has pulled out all her stops: the weather has been glorious, the welcome was joyous, and the immediate pampering of Johann has made him feel safe and special from day one. But behind the sunny postcard greetings lies the real, beautifully messy diary of moving your life from your home country to a small island at the edge of Europe. Here is how our first fourteen days actually unfolded.

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1. The Prep of the Wings

The Farewell Party

The shift from Swallow to Crow actually started a few days before we even said goodbye, when we threw a small farewell party right in the chaotic middle of packing. I definitely questioned my sanity a few times – why did I think this was a good idea two days before the moving truck was scheduled to arrive? – but it ended up being the absolute perfect way to take flight. It showed Johann we were leaving with full hearts, and it gave Will the chance to meet most of my family.

The actual journey from home to home is mostly a blur. My fear of flying (brand-new and annoying!!) had me in a ball of nerves, but the flight went by super fast. Honestly, the next thing I clearly remember is arriving in Clonmel and falling into a half-second nap in our new bed with an unwrapped McChicken in my arms. I did manage to eat it, but I was out cold a few moments later.

2. The Flight:

Franticly Flapping our Wings

There’s been a lot more take-out and the big M than I’d like it to be, there’s dirt, there’s dust, there’s unpacked boxes everywhere. There’s a very tired runner, there’s my desire to make the house a home for Johann, there’s mundane things like missing my favorite soy yoghurt and of course, there’s Johann being bored, feeling lonely and missing his best friend. But there’s also been so much laughter, so many moments of connection.

My biggest priority was getting Johann settled before school starts, which is in exactly two weeks. Even though we had a school picked already and had done all the proper paperwork, we made the decision to pull his enrollment and go with a different school. He’ll go down a grade, which will give him time to find friends and adjust to a new system, new subjects, and an unfamiliar way of doing school. One of the biggest perks is that the school is just around the corner. He’ll be able to roll out of bed and down the hill five minutes before the bell rings. Or so he believes. 😉

Will is in the dead-center of marathon training, so when he’s not working or running, his body is screaming for rest. I try not to overload him with too much move-related chaos, but my brain is definitely fried from mostly solo-managing an international relocation. This could’ve created friction and resentment, but we knew this is what was going to happen, so we tried to be prepared for it.

Smooth glides and crash landings

What went right:

So much! Most of our furniture arrived without a single scrape, and even though we brought way more than I had initially budgeted for, we didn’t have to pay a cent extra. Score! Our living room is mostly set up, giving us one sanctuary where we can completely relax and find our footing as a family of 3.

Johann found a desk for his computer (hands down the most important item in his universe). He got Will’s parents to take him to a store 45 minutes away to pick it up and convinced me set it up with him in the middle of all the initial chaos (the boy definitely has serious negotiation skills). It mattered so much to him and the moment he booted up his screen and arranged his things just the way he likes them, you could see that he was in his nest, his new home.

Will’s parents have welcomed us with open arms and an Irish accent that we still struggle with understanding. But even with that small barrier, they’ve enveloped Johann and doted on him with attention, treats and open ears. When we arrived, they had a little set up of sunflowers, a card and some of Johann’s favorite snacks. What’s not to love? It’s been great to see how patiently they listen to a super detailed, ten-minute breakdown of Johann’s Roblox woes and wins! He’s loving their attention and is quite enchanted by them.

Will and Johann are also naturally getting comfortable with each other. I can see Johann testing the waters to figure out where Will’s boundaries are. There’s no relaxing in front of the TV without Johann trying to get his attention. There’s some territorial “joking” like who gets to sit on the couch with me or who gets the better chair at the dinner table. Will just laughs, but he’s not letting Johann push him over. It’ll be fascinating to watch that bond grow.

What went wrong:

Not much, truth be told. There were some tense moments, of course. They mostly happened when one of us was stressed and tired, and usually over entirely minute things. But it was always just a passing moment – a little glimpse into who we are and how we react when we’re cranky, hangry, or overwhelmed. We’re making it a point to talk about it right away and we just naturally laugh through most of the tension.

Other than is physical exhaustion and my mental fatigue, there are some other hurdles.

I’ve gone from a 2x2m bed that was all mine to sleeping in a standard bed with another person, so there’s definitely some sleep adjustment happening. Johann’s bed situation isn’t great yet either, so he’s been having some trouble getting proper rest.

Then there was the dust. So. Much. Dust. I ultimately bit the bullet and paid for a professional deep clean of the house. It was an expense I hadn’t planned for, but truthfully, I was too exhausted to scrub floors myself. Out sourcing that clean was the best decision I made.

But the absolute biggest adjustment? The hot water. Not once in my life did I have to think about turning on hot water. It was just always there. Here, however, it’s not. There’s been one or two cold showers… and I was NOT happy about it. I’m learning the system, I promise.

3. Finding our Rhythm

It has taken exactly fourteen days of being here to finally feel the dust begin to settle. At least somewhat. Only now, are we starting to establish a real routine. I am starting to wake up early again (after the absolute luxury of not setting a single alarm for ten days!), getting tiny glimpses of my morning routine back, and finally cooking more dinners than we order in.

We’re finding out who snags more of the blanket at night (and negotiating the duvet territory accordingly)! We’re navigating the new layout of the kitchen (and who’s responsible for cooking dinner or unloading the dishes on any given day). And we’re embracing the mental dissonance of tossing paper and plastic in the same bin and calling it recycling (okay, I’m the only one who struggles with that, but honestly, the German recycling system has been hammered into my mind since 1st grade…).

We’re still in the baby bird phase, of course, and the adjustments will continue for months to come. But Johann’s school registration is done, our paperwork is almost finished, and our house is gradually starting to look and feel like a shared home. I am still learning my new phone number by heart and Johann’s deeply invested in finding the best way to store his stuffed animals. And Will? He’s probably going insane having two chatterboxes craving his attention whenever he’s at home. One day at a time. One new feather day by day.

4. The Price of the Flight

We joke about our move-lag, but honestly, I really am tired to the bone. I’ve lost some weight from shuffling moving boxes and furniture around, but I’ve also gained some serious muscle in my arms from all that.

It’s a lot on the nervous system: the selling of all of 3/4 of your belongings, going from one big house with 2 people and a lot of alone time to a new home, smaller, right next to your future parents-in-law, and adding an extra person into the mix.

Johann’s been incredible in all of this. He’s such a trooper and really only wanted his desk and computer. Once that was settled, he was happy as can be.

We’ve learned so much about ourselves and how much we can handle. If you want to know how much you’ve grown as a person, go do an international move.

5. Looking at the Sky: What’s Ahead

A couple of days ago, I looked at Johann and screamed: We really fucking did it! It all worked out. We’re here. We’re finally fucking here!!! I’d been in go go go mode and hadn’t even fully realized that we pulled it off. All the anxiety and tension I carried for months is beginning to slip off my shoulders, and I finally feel less weighed down by that never-ending to do list.

Looking ahead, the horizon feels incredibly bright. We still have a long way to go before Johann and I can claim our true, weatherproof Irish winter feathers, but the foundations are built. It feels like we are no longer just flying over a strange place. Instead, we are firmly in the process of landing, learning to share a sky, and figuring out how to be an unbreakable family of three.