Motherhood and body image

anne pregnant

Many, many, MANY things change when you become a mother.

You are suddenly responsible for another human being, a tiny cute one that is totally dependant on you.

You suddenly don’t have any time for yourself.

You are rushing from one place to the next trying to keep up with all your responsibilities.

And – on top of all the stress associated with being a mom – your body changes big time.

From the beginning of your pregnancy your body goes through a task that is described as being harder than climbing Mount Everest (and who doesn’t believe that?!).

Then there’s giving birth, breastfeeding (doesn’t matter how long you do it), the constant carrying of the baby, the emotional toll, the mental toll it takes. All that changes your physiology in ways that we can hardly imagine.

But looking at the rich and famous of our times, moms act as if all of that is no big deal and all they have to focus on is their body – because that surely is the most important thing when you’ve just had a child.

The post baby body? Not for me. My body will look like I wasn’t even pregnant in a mere 2 weeks after going birth. Aaaaand it was sooo easy because I took so much care of myself throughout the pregnancy.

Yeahhhh…

It’s hard for us mortals to feel OK with a post baby body that looks like, well, a freakin’ post baby body.

We intellectually know that superstars have personal trainers (Beyonce supposedly had one living with her during the pregnancy!), private chefs and are – by definition – already metabolically and physically “superior” (in the insane ways we think today) than most of us are.

But it still hurts to see them looking so perfect and us looking so different.

It’s easy then to go on a crash diet to “get your body back” (I hate this term so so much!).

It’s easy to feel ashamed, guilty and less then. The media portrays us as such after all.

So, how can we rise above and begin to cultivate a healthy body image in motherhood; not just for ourselves but for our children and children’s children?

Let’s start with pregnancy.

I have met women who ate so little during pregnancy that they fainted and ultimately affected their child ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE SO SCARED OF GAINING WEIGHT.

Isn’t that insane?! To accept the risk of hurting your unborn baby in order to not gain weight?

Or to not get pregnant because you don’t want your body to change?

When you think about, it’s not just insane, it’s so so sad because it is a choice that after a certain point disappears and you’ll have to live with the consequences for the rest of your life.

I’ve had my share of mean comments about my weight during pregnancy. And you know what? I have felt so so so good because I was having a baby and because my body made that possible.

It’s time to get over ourselves (and I really mean that!) and focus on what is important: that is the health of the baby and the health of the mommy and not the pounds you gain during your pregnancy or lose afterwards.

I am not saying that we stop being women and stop wanting to be sexy and attractive after having a child, but we have to stop the insanity of abusing our body during this important time only to conform to the current beauty standards.

Let me say this again: is it really worth it to potentially destroy the baby’s health (an unborn being that deserves nothing but the best!) to keep yourself from gaining a few pounds?

I hope your answer to this one is a HELL NO, it is SO not worth the risk.

So, instead of hurting your baby, focus on your wellbeing during this time. Focus on treating yourself with kindness and care. If you’re in a partnership, have your partner take special care of you with delish food, massages and all the pampering he can think of.

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Think quality and forget about weight gain or weight loss.

If you feel uncomfortable in your body, move. There are great exercises you can do while you’re pregnant; exercises that can be super fun too.

After giving birth, DO NOT THINK ABOUT YOUR FREAKING WEIGHT before thinking of your child. I looked super pregnant days after I had Johann and my sister was making fun of me. So what? I knew that my body had gone through an enormous feat and so I was respectful of my body instead of disrespecting it.

And respect is a big, big thing. We have lost all respect for what the body can do for us and have become obsessed about what it looks like or doesn’t look like.

And as much as I understand the pain that being dissatisfied with your body brings, it is time to stop. Just stop and be in the here and now. With all the beautiful things your body has done for you.

Be proud of it. Be proud of yourself. Be freakin’ amazed with your body.

Breastfeeding time brings its own challenges in the form of a changing body. Here again, it is important to focus on the self-care instead of weight loss. You are still feeding a little human being with your own body. Who cares if you’re hungry all the time? Of course you are!

Again, you are feeding another human being and keeping it alive, helping it grow, learn, thrive.

I am not trying to make you feel bad for feeling the way you feel about your body. I am trying to help you shift your focus from the way your body looks to how it performed and what it can do.

Get enough sleep (as much as this is ever possible with a newborn), take a time out if you can, take baths, feed your soul, feed your body and listen to your hungers.

Getting accustomed to being a mom comes with a big hormonal change, too. Don’t forget about that. It is so so crucial to take special care of yourself in this delicate situation.

As time moves on and motherhood evolves, your body image and your body will evolve too.

As I’ve said, motherhood brings its own challenges and your body may need more food to handle these.

Let’s be real here: motherhood is stressful quite often. If you keep starving yourself and denying yourself food, your nerves won’t handle it well and your child will notice.

Not only that, you are now also a role model and so, it is important to work on your body image instead of working on your weight.

Challenge what you see in the magazines, challenge your old thoughts and believes, eat well, move with your child, have fun.

One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to accept constant change in this time of your life.

Where before, you may have had massive amounts of time and massive energy to spend hours at the gym and be a lean mean calorie-burning machine, now you may “only” have time for a walk in the evening.

Don’t feel guilty for not having the energy to work out every day. Your energy is spread thin and those starlets and even the spiritual leaders often DO NOT HAVE KIDS. And if they do, they have nannies. (Note: Again, I am not trying to make them small, I am just saying that their situation is different from ours.).

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Don’t feel guilty for eating more chocolate because you feel like a sleep-deprived zombie and somehow need to make it through the day.

Don’t feel guilty for being a mom and having an ever-changing body. And please don’t compare yourself to the bodies of 18 year old girls.

And unfollow all the skinny mommy boards on Pinterest, the friends who participate in cleanses on Facebook and the ever shaming ‘get your body back’ updates you see everywhere.

Instead, again, focus on quality, self-care and the inner work you can do while moving, while enjoying and while choosing to follow happiness.

That is the best way to have a healthy body image as a mom.

If you want to be a better role model for your children and you want to finally stop fighting food and your body, it’s time to take responsibility and DO IT. Schedule a complimentary Discovery Call with me and we can talk about the ways I can help you to get your sanity back. http://bit.ly/asrsession

Want more support? Join the free Escape Diet Prison Facebook group to engage with others who are on the same path as you. We can only grow if we surround ourselves with like-minded people. If you don’t, you’ll stay stuck and that is a promise.

Enjoyed this episode? Share it with others in your life who MUST listen to it right now. YOU are a change maker in this world and your voice needs to be heard. x

Love,