You know whether you’re lying or not.
You know whether you’re happy or faking every darn smile.
You know whether your soul is soaring or your heart is crying.
You know your truth.
Even if you feel numb.
Even if you feel lost.
You know what’s right.
You know what’s not.
Even if you feel desperate
crying yourself to sleep every night.
Not wanting to get up in the morning
and dreading every day.
You know what needs to be done.
You know your truth.
You know whether you’re eating for pleasure or boredom.
You know whether you’re really dieting and just lying to yourself.
You know whether the direction you’re heading into is just another one of destruction.
You know your truth.
But maybe you just don’t want to.
Maybe you would just rather continue to pretend-
because it feels safe.
because it feels sheltered.
because it’s what you know.
But you know your truth.
You know how unhappy you are.
How your heart is screaming for freedom.
How your soul is yearning for love.
Your love.
The love that you’ve been denying yourself for decades
for the sole pleasure of eating or being thin
for the sole pleasure of beating yourself up and hating on your body
every day of your life.
You know that this is not a life.
That this is not YOUR life.
That this is just a sad excuse for continuing to exist
without having to take a risk.
The risk of finding yourself.
Of stepping it up.
The thing is though…
you know why it hurts.
You know why the pain never leaves your side
Wakes you up in the middle of the night.
You know why you feel guilty telling everyone that your relationship to food is GREAT
and that you really are naturally this thin.
You know why you binge every night
on foods you don’t even like.
You know
Oh how you know.
The question then is-
why do you still choose to hide?
Why do you still abuse your body?
Why do you still allow your mind to kill your dreams?
Why do you go left when all you truly want to do is to go right?
Give yourself a reason.
You owe yourself that much.
And don’t make one up –
because you do know why.
You’ve always known and that little light inside of you will never leave
your
side.
It’ll be there, nagging, praying, gently whispering in your ear.
Not leaving you in the space you’re currently stuck.
Always trying to get your attention,
to help you realize that you’re not in this all alone.
That there is a knowing inside of you that wants to help you, support you,
to get to the other side.
To stop believing your own lies and listen to the beat of your heart:
the truths that you’ve been hiding from on purpose.
You can pretend
but you cannot forget what you really want.
Today, take a deep breath,
close your eyes and feel.
Listen.
Allow.
Then take one step in the direction of your truth.
You’ll be scared.
You’ll feel uncomfortable.
You’ll be timid.
And that’s OK.
Just keep on going.
Allowing the whispers in your heart to guide you along the way.
Just keep on going.
Allowing the dreams of your childhood days to take the lead.
Just keep on going.
Trusting the universe in all the best ways.
Just keep on going.
Taking one step after the other to a life that is free of obsession
free of restriction
free of googling “how to lose weight fast” at 2am.
Just keep on going.
Lean into the uncertain,
embrace the discomfort,
heal the pain.
And realize – with joy – that you’ll never be the same again.
As – and you know your truth – you always wanted to grow and transform.
You knew there was more. You knew you had it.
You knew you could change the direction of your life.
You know your truth.
It’s time to stop pretending you don’t.
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