Year in Review 2022: Manifesting Works – Anything is Possible

As 2022 comes to a close, it’s time to hit the pause button and reflect on where we’ve been a year ago. It certainly wasn’t an easy road – there were plenty of highs and lows along with challenges and triumphs – but looking back can be incredibly rewarding if done with gratitude in our hearts.

I love going down memory lane to celebrate and reflect on what lessons I’ve learned and how each high and low will shape my life story.

2022: A Year of Expansion

My word of the year 2022 was Expansion.

And it turned out to be an expansion of my dreams, my self-confidence, my relationship with my son and nieces, my boundaries, my mom skills, my power, my inner dialogue, my horizon, my network, my running miles and skills and my experience of the world.

It’s also been an expansion of pain, of grief, of heartache, of seeing my child suffer and feeling helpless, of not knowing how to deal with betrayal and overwhelm and of seeing friends go through immense challenges.

All of that is part of life and I wouldn’t wish it away, knowing that every experience serves us in a multitude of ways.

My Year in Review 2022

Work-Life What?!

This is the first theme of 2022 and it will be the last.

Heck, this is a theme that has been running through my life for as long as I remember. I admit I don’t believe that work-life balance exists. It’s more like a scale that goes up and down, throughout your days, weeks, months and years. Sometimes your priority is on life – on your family, your child, your health and your hobbies. And at other times, your priority just has to be on work.

As Johann gets older, I try to immerse him more and more into my work-world and my work-world into my mommy-son world, but it is a challenge. On top of that comes the fact that I am a single mom. 100% responsible for this little human being, 100% responsible for his well-being, his future, his current world.

I am not complaining one bit. He’s the best and most precious gift I have. I love what I do for a living and I love my son. I wouldn’t have it any other way, so yes, work-life what?! will continue to weave itself throughout my life.

Grief: An Often Surprising Visitor

March marked the first anniversary of my father’s death. It was a hard day, it’s been a hard year and grief continues to come in waves, sometimes piercing through my body like a lighting strike, sometimes gently washing over me with memories of the past. I might be perfectly fine running on my treadmill, then glancing at his work boots, his coat, his work overall, all still where he left it, and I am gutted that he’s gone.

The house that he re-built and envisioned is still empty without him. His presence has left a big fat hole and it’s not the same, never will be.

Embracing all the mixed emotions while grieving

Our relationship – as I’ve spoken about even before his sudden death – was a difficult one and I find it important to not glorify what has been lost. This might sound harsh for those that haven’t lived through it, haven’t felt the pain a father-daughter relationship can entail. But it’s not. It’s simply truth, my truth. I am learning to heal those parts that miss him terribly as well as those that are still hanging on to horrible events of the my childhood and beyond.

Through covid and other unexpected circumstances, I’ve lost more people in the last 2 years than ever before. Whether they were young, older, old, very close, close, rather distant, every passing feels different, every grieving is unique.

Here’s what I know to be true though: it’s a cliché that is one for a reason: love the ones who are here, now, hard and deep and tell them how much you care. Don’t assume they know, show them, be with them, listen to them, really hear them and don’t assume that tomorrow, everything will still be the same.

Parenting my son through his own grief

This entire year, my son has been struggling with my father’s death, his sole and constant male attachment figure. Seeing him in pain hurts more than anything I’ve experienced and I know that it is his path to take, his pain to move through, his healing to find.

Death sucks and yet it’s a part of life. We talk about it, we talk about my father in the most honest ways we can, hoping that the wounds that have opened up in that night of March 4, 2021 will lead to a new path of male behavior and a breaking of a the cycle of toxic masculinity in this family.

Living that Nomad Life

While living a nomad life might be a bit of an exaggeration, this year has been full of exploring new places and revisiting the ones I’ve called home after years of being gone. I worked from Berlin, Tallinn, San Diego (reconnecting with my Blogging and Podcasting roots, having flashbacks of times I stood on stages similar to the ones in San Diego), Basthorst, Wolfsburg, the South of France, the British Virgin Islands.

We vacationed in Turkey with friends, had a super fun stay-at-home summer holiday, spent some days Boston and – finally – went back home to NYC.

The best part? Johann was able to come along to most of those trips.

Mind Valley University: Introducing Johann to mommy’s former life

He spent 2 weeks with me in Tallinn, Estonia, at Mindvalley University. MVU is a place where thousands of people meet for 1-3 weeks to learn together, work together, connect with each other and have tons of fun along the way. For 2 weeks Johann and I immersed ourselves in workshops, seminars, new topics and concepts from energy medicine to vivid visions and leadership.

Tallinn is a gorgeous city with a beautiful old town. During our first week there, we literally lived inside the old town wall – a dream in and of itself.

MVU offers a kids program that was out of this world. Johann was introduced to breathwork, mindfulness, energy healing, health, ecstatic dancing, spent time with Vishen Lakiani and other world class teachers and mentors in their field.

It was a mind-blowing and at the beginning a daunting experience for Johann: walking into a room of kids without being fluent in English, knowing that he was going to have to not only understand but also communicate in this language. After 20 minutes he wanted to go home. After a day, I hardly saw him in the breaks of our sessions as he was running around with his friends, having adventures of his own.

Dreams do come true: a year of great, greater & can this even get more magical? Yes!

If someone would have told me what I would experience this year, I would have slapped them in the face scolding them for abusing my heart. The dreams that have become a reality, still have not fully sunken in. Visions I’ve held for years and years that were suddenly a reality still make my heart skip a beat.

It started with flying to San Diego with my work bestie Andrea for the Social Media Marketing World. We got to listen to the world’s top experts in Social Media Marketing. We spent the days with the biggest smiles, giddy to the point of ridiculous that we were back in the US, connecting with like-minded people and learning about NFTs, TikTok and Co.

Coming back home to the US, even if I’d never been in this particular city started a process inside that will lead to new adventures in 2023.

I had the opportunity to stand on a stage at Mindvalley University talking about the importance of feeling safe within ourselves in order to make a dent in this world, the way those of us who attended desired to.

I got to fly to Necker Island to meet Richard Branson, my role model for more than a decade and reconnected with one of the most inspiring female visionaries in this world Natalie MacNeil. What a gift.

One of the ultimate surprises of this year though was receiving a personal video message from my teen idol, an athlete I had been IN LOVE with for years. And you know how all-encompassing teenage love is, right? Thank you, Christina, for making this dream I didn’t even know I still had, come true. I’ve watched this message a hundred times at least and my teenage heart melts every time.

Dreams, really, do come true.

Betrayal, Heartache & Boundaries

I’ve always been skeptical when it comes to friendships, relationships and the like, which is no surprise given my history. But I am weird: I either hold people at arm’s length or I embrace them and put them on a pedestal. This year has shown me again how reckless people can be and how little some peoples’ words mean.

I have learned so much through these experiences. I have realized once again, how much value I place on integrity and honesty, fairness and loyalty. Some say I am slightly obsessed with these attributes and they may be right, but who cares? It’s my life, my values and I am getting better at setting boundaries that won’t allow others to trample all over me.

I am still discovering that I am a person of value, that I can decide who gets to spend my life with me and who doesn’t. Those who lie and pretend will definitely not be part of it anymore. And you know what? It feels fucking GREAT.

Another insight I had was that I want to be around people who have the capacity to self-reflect, who can own up to their mistakes and shortcomings, knowing that nobody is perfect and that mistakes or failures are absolutely fine. I’d rather spend an evening with a person who has stories of fuck-ups to share than with someone who wants to tell me that everything they’ve ever done in their life has been perfect. How boring and, well, untrue.

Coming Home, Finally!

Taking Johann to NYC and showing him the streets I used to walk up and down on a daily basis was everything and so much more. We both fell in love with the city: him for the first time, me for the thousandth! Being able to write this sentence makes tears of joy fall freely down my cheeks. My son, my one and only, cherishes the city I know is my soul’s home. He got along brilliantly with my friends, had long conversations with them and felt right at home. My heart couldn’t handle this bliss at times.

Also, I ran and finished the NYC Marathon, an experience of a life-time, in a time that still blows my mind (I was faster than Ashton Kutcher! ;). We stopped by the Peloton Studios – another dream come true – but didn’t meet one of the instructors. There’s always a next time though, right?

Family ties

As work has been busy, I savor the moments I get to spend with my son and nieces. Family has always been a complex affair; points of view clash, somebody who used to be there no longer is… but these children are everything to me.

Parenting an 8-year old can be pretty tough (then again he is my child, what did I expect?!) However, witnessing his creative side flourish brings me immense joy. The moments he comes into my office dressed up in yet another of his fantasy figures are the most fun I have. I loooove that he expresses himself in this way. I gift him a new costume every year for Christmas and he will walk around with it everywhere: the grocery store, when he’s at his friends’ houses, trips to the city… He hasn’t taken his latest costume off for a week.

I’m also so grateful for all the new members of this clan: falling in love with them was one smile at a time. Being an auntie is the best. 😉

On- or offline?

Throughout the last 2 years, I have taken a HUGE step back from using social media and am now slowly tapping my toes back in.

For a while I had the desire to just delete it all and live my life offline again – without the stress of having to respond to Instagram messages, Facebook comments, Whatsapp texts, Messeneger messages, E-Mails (oh my God Mails: I admit it, I dislike E-Mails very, very, VERY much, and if I never had to answer another E-Mail ever again, I’d be the most grateful person in the world!) and on and on and on.

There are teachers that need answers, other moms that have questions, those who get angry when you don’t respond within a minute or even a day. I am trying to find my balance, but it’s not easy. It seems like there is always something demanding our attention online.

I have learned to set boundaries for myself. I have turned off notifications on my phone and put limits to my screen time – as if I were my son. 😉  It’s a work in progress, but I am finding that by taking a step back and finding a balance, I am able to enjoy the benefits of social media again without getting overwhelmed by it OR feeling that nagging guilt that I owe others my constant attention.

Reconnection with my old, brave, dreamful self

When I touched down in the US in March for the first time since December of 2013, it was emotional explosion. It was EVERYTHING and even though we were only there for a few days that were filled with keynotes, workshops and other conference activities, it brought me back to life, allowing my former self, my real self to emerge again.

Coming back home allowed me to reconnect with who I used to be: a wildly successful podcaster, writer, coach, a friend, a trailblazer, a woman who knew that she could conquer the world. I reconnected with NY, with my roots, with my American friends and my visionary self.

I am finding my voice again. I am writing again, allowing myself to share what I believe to be important. Although I am not 100% there just yet and it’s funny how hard it is to get back into the writing life when I used to write so easily day in, day out.

But I am determined to keep moving forward and reclaim my voice in an even stronger and more powerful way. I am excited for what the future holds and am grateful for the opportunity to reconnect with myself and my passions. It has been a long journey, but I am finding my way back and am feeling more alive and inspired than ever before.

3 of My Favorite Reels

Originally I was going to share my 3 favorite reels, but, well, there are too many, so here are 3 of my faves. Oh and I don’t even know if these are of 2022. I just love them.

 

Watch this post on Instagram

 

Ein Beitrag geteilt von Denis – The Yacht Mogul (@theyachtmogul)

 

Watch this post on Instagram

 

Ein Beitrag geteilt von Nate Zarlengo (@xatefrogg)

 

Watch this post on Instagram

 

Ein Beitrag geteilt von Sam Branson (@bransonsam)

My year 2022 in Numbers

• Kilometers I’ve run: 3308
• Countries I’ve visited: 5
• Insta-Parenting-Reels I’ve watched and shared > 1.000.000.000.000 ?!
• Most listened to song: As it Was by Harry Styes (no surprise there), best song in decades
• My top artist: Taylor Swift, also no surprise
• Personal and Professional Growth: I worked with 1 new coach, have studied for 2 coaching certifications (one was 80+ hours and 64+ hours) and am part of 2 masterminds
• Books I’ve read/listened to: 86 (from books on leadership, spirituality, team building, biographies about entrepreneurs or legends in sports, mindset and coaching to dreamy novels about love stories that always end well)
• Hours I’ve spent running: 308 – my therapy and lifeline on many days
• Peloton Badges I’ve earned: 914

What else has happened in 2022

My Intentions for 2023

I don’t do goals or resolutions, especially New Year’s resolutions feel forced and constricting. They can create a sense of pressure to make certain changes, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy if we don’t live up to them. Additionally, resolutions often focus on things we “should” do or “shouldn’t” do, which can perpetuate negative self-talk and a negative relationship with ourselves.

Instead of setting resolutions, I prefer to focus on setting intentions that are aligned with my values and that feel good to me. This allows me to make progress in a way that feels natural and enjoyable, rather than feeling like a chore or a punishment.

I also believe that positive change and personal growth can happen anytime, not just at the beginning of a new year. So rather than waiting for the start of a new year to make changes, I try to cultivate a mindset of continuous improvement and self-growth all year round.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with setting goals or making changes, but I believe it’s important to do so in a way that is kind and compassionate to ourselves, rather than setting ourselves up for failure or self-judgment.

So, here are my intentions for 2023:

 

• Running into our Unknown:
  We are moving to the US. We’re making it a reality.
  Next year, I’ll write this post from an apartment in NYC where we’ve settled in nicely and have created our very own American dream.
• Create little getaway adventures every month with Johann
• Coach, coach and coach some more:
  I cannot wait to work with more highly ambitious women who want to make their dent in the world
• Be a more present parent
  One thing I have been working on for years is to be totally present when Johann comes home from school. I aim not to have any meeting between 2 and 3pm.
• Become a member of The Collective
• Find my writing voice again by writing daily, no matter how long, no matter how short, but give myself this time to express who I am
• Continue to GROW: to work on myself when it comes to my relationship with my SELF, my confidence, my self-believe, self-talk and the way I treat myself on a daily basis. But also grow as a mother, allowing my son to guide the way in many ways, teaching me how to be better, softer, kinder, but also firmer, stronger and more courageous.
• Learn new skills such as lucid dreaming. I reallllly want to attend one of Charlie Morley’s workshops!
• My word for 2023: Jupiter