Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?
~ Rumi
The door to freedom is wide open, love.
I know it doesn’t feel that way.
I know it feels more like the door is so tightly shut that you’re suffocating; losing a little bit more air every single day.
I know it feels like your body, your appetite is conspiring against you and that you just cannot win this fight.
I know it feels like you’ll never escape those dieting thoughts and this cruel calorie counter in your head.
I know that it feels like the door is tightly shut and locked three times over.
But if you were honest, if you were aware, you’d see that it’s only your thoughts, your beliefs that keep you stuck.
You’re scared, yes.
But it’s your thoughts that keep you locked in fear.
The thing about our thoughts is that we can play with them.
We may not be able to change them instantly but we can allow ourselves to meet them in different ways.
In the end, it’s really not our thoughts that hurt us so much but our reaction to them.
You can think the most horrendous things and if you don’t react in a conventional way, then those thoughts don’t mean a thing.
If you look at yourself and think: “You’re fat. You nasty cow.”, you can go into judgment mode, hate on yourself even more, feel bad, binge or restrict. Or you can meet those thoughts with compassion and love, knowing that they’re just words, fears of the past that cannot harm you or hurt you in any way.
I know it doesn’t feel like it but the door to freedom, to peace of mind is truly wide open.
All you have to do is take a step and walk towards the light.
Take on step today, just one and see what it feels like.
What comes up? What are your fears?
Face them, inquire them, play with them.
Take the next step tomorrow, just one step and see what you notice.
How are you being challenged? How are you being changed?
Allow those insecurities to arise and meet them with the love of a mama bear.
Then take another step, just one, and another and another and another.
Take it slow, do it steady and every day accept the tasks that you need to face.
Nothing threatening will happen but in your thoughts.
Your beliefs will be challenged, your perspective will be broadened.
Allow it to happen with the certainty that the prison doors remain unlocked.
With every step, with every day, you’ll grow stronger, you’ll heal another part of you and though you may be drawn back to the darkness, eventually the light will win.
So, are you ready to leave your prison behind?
