Triggered by HER Weight Loss

Let’s say there’s a female person in your life. Could be a friend, a co-worker, your mom, sister or girlfriend.

Let’s say that female person loses weight.

And it triggers the crap out of you.

You can’t stop looking at her.
You can’t stop thinking about her.
You can’t stop obsessing about the fact that she dared to lose weight.

You try to find reasons, ask yourself why?
Did she up her workouts?
Did she change her diet?
Did she stop eating?

You begin to check on your own body again.

“Oh the saggy skin.
The FAT.
I HATE the fat.

All the weight I’ve gained.
And I used to be SO THIN.”

You try to see her more often to check on her new body
the clothes that suddenly hang on her hips.

You try to avoid her to not feel all the pain.

But the picture of her hot new body is constantly on your mind.

You feel jealous.
You feel envious.
You feel oh so pressured.

… and hurt.

This should be YOU.

You should be the one who’s sporting that new ultra-skinny look.
You should be the one other people think about because of the oh so apparent weight loss.
You should be envied.

Not her.

How dare she.

It’s so unfair.

Maybe you should start dieting again.
Maybe you need to start working out more and more again.
Maybe you need to stop eating altogether.

Just for a while.
Just until you’ve outperformed her.
Just until you’re the star of weight loss and thinness (again).

But why?

Why does her weight loss trigger you?
What’s GREAT about it?
What’s the BIG achievement behind it?
What’s the THING that tucks on your soul, makes you all insecure and ready to jump ship?

Why do you NEED to be like her?
Better than her?
Thinner than her?

Why the competition?
Why the competition when it comes to WEIGHT?

Why do you compare?
Why do you despair?

I know, I know.
Silly questions, right?

After all, I know the answers.
I’ve lived this life.
I’ve had these thoughts.

More times than I can count.
I’ve been jealous, envious and heartbroken over other people’s thinness, other people’s workout routine, other people’s body for most of my life.

I KNOW it’s not rational.
I KNOW it’s not healthy.
I KNOW it’s not even really wanted.

But is it?

Isn’t there a part of you that’s just been waiting for a weight loss to occur so that you can go back to hating yourself and your body?

Isn’t there a part of you that’s GLAD she’s shed the pounds?

Be honest.
Be real.
And then take a step back to breathe.

Take some time to journal.
Take some time to make peace.

With your body, with yourself, with her.

She didn’t do it to hurt you.
She didn’t do it to show you.
She didn’t do it FOR YOU.

You have no clue what’s going on with her.
Even if you think you do.

Don’t make it ABOUT YOURSELF.

And instead, turn inward to listen.
What’s still hurting?
What needs to be heard?
Which part of you needs more healing?

Where is your confidence still frail?

And how are you choosing to respond?

Not to her
but to yourself.

Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe again.

Her life is not yours.
Her body is not yours.
Her metabolism is not yours.
Her appetite is not yours.
Her phase in life is not yours.

That doesn’t mean that YOU are LESS THAN.
That doesn’t mean the SHE is BETTER THAN.

All it means is that she’s lost weight and you haven’t.
Her body got smaller and yours didn’t.

That’s all there is to it.

And once you can go back to that truth – without judgment, simply recognizing reality-, you’ll begin to live freely again.

***

P.S. Did you know: When you journal, magic ensues.

Of course you did. 😉

It happens because you allow your subconscious to surface and help you to heal what needs to be healed (and that is rarely our weight and our “issues” with food). When you put a pen to paper, you begin to unravel and open doors that remained closed for decades; doors that are waiting to finally bust open.

You begin to hear yourself, feel yourself and trust yourself more and more.

Your self-confidence strengthens, the bar on your bullshit barometer increases and you begin to be yourself, truly, fully yourself no matter how other people react to you showing up as the person you are.

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