When I think about mostly anything about my past, I remember being hungry or ashamed of how much I was eating.
That time I went to San Antonio with my American family, I was hungry 24/7, trying not to let others notice.
That time I went to DC to visit a friend, I was on the brink of fainting from hunger most of the time.
That time we went to Monaco as a family, I visited the public restroom at least 10 times because I’d infused my system with so many laxatives.
That time I went to a wedding in Georgia with my American family, I was standing in the kitchen secretly eating the wedding cake, desperate for the rush of sugar as I hadn’t been eating for days before. And oh how I scared and ashamed I felt for standing in the kitchen of a stranger bingeing.
The voices in my head were incredibly loud, extremely nasty and unfathomably loud.
That time we traveled to Cameroon and I fought with my sister all the time because I just wouldn’t really eat.
Or that time I wouldn’t go on a trip to Pisa because I had eaten too much the night before and I felt so sick from all the food.
Or the thousand times we walked through beautiful streets in France, Italy, Spain, Norway, saw gorgeous little restaurants in the US, Peru, Bali, Australia, smelled yummy foods in Africa or heard the sounds of someone cooking in England and all I could think about was “please let me be strong enough not to eat, not to overeat, not to ruin my diet”.
Most of my memories of the past – ordinary or extraordinary – are tainted by my desire to stay thin or get thin(ner).
Everything revolved around that. No other experience could ever match the extreme importance of having a certain body.
How sick is that? I mean, yeah, I was sick, but still?!
Thinking about it, how sick is it that when you’re having a special (or completely ordinary but still special) experience, you worry about food and your weight first and foremost.
I know I am not alone in that. Statistics suggest that most people feel that way actually.
We’ve made a life that is so full of miracles into a life that is so beige and painful – because of our flesh.
We’ve created a place where we can’t allow ourselves the abundance of this planet, where we can’t enjoy the moment, where we can’t have experiences that’ll nourish as for a lifetime – because we might (and this is a big “might”) gain a couple grams.
When it comes to your life and you, to your body and you, to your memories and you, do you really want that? Are you really satisfied with living a life of struggle instead of reaching out and embracing all the glorious encounters with magic you could have?
I don’t like going back and asking what if? But you know, sometimes I just can’t not.
What if I had allowed myself to eat a piece of cake during that reception in Georgia? Would I have enjoyed the company of others more? Would I have needed to hide in the kitchen eating away at the leftovers from the wedding cake? Feeling so ashamed?
What if I had allowed myself to enter a beautiful chocolaterie in the South of France and eaten whatever I desired? Would I’ve been able to stop obsessing about food for a while? Would’ve been able to enjoy the beauty around me even more?
What if I had allowed myself to eat the yummy and different foods of Cameroon instead of always saying no? Would I have had a better time? An even greater adventure?
I sure as heck think so.
I would’ve had more energy for once.
I would’ve been more present for another.
And I would’ve just been more able to soak in what is around me.
My head wouldn’t have been so congested with useless crap and senseless worries. My heart wouldn’t have been closed. My body wouldn’t have been so rigid.
It would’ve changed things. All of them.
And yet I needed these experiences to grow into the person I am today. I am not mad (anymore), not sad (for the most part), not hurt, I am instead happy that my memories aren’t loaded with the feelings of hunger or extreme fullness.
Life after escaping diet prison, after bingeing and compulsive eating is different.
Every day moments aren’t the same anymore.
They’re better. More colorful.
You can let love in.
You can let life in.
You can go to places you’ve never been – literally and figuratively.
If you’re still in the space of having hungry memories, hungry experiences and “full-beyond-pleasure” moments, it’s time to begin the process of unraveling all your beliefs about your weight, your relationship to food and the absolute need to be thin.
You will fall, of course.
You will feel heartbroken, at times.
You will grief, for sure.
But you will come up for air again, longer and stronger.
And your life will be nurtured by the feeling of being nourished on a body, mind and soul level – in all the best ways.
You’ll go to work feeling full of energy instead of hunger gnawing at your bones.
You’ll play with your children being really in the moment instead of checking your body all the time.
You’ll create memories for yourself that are about more than whether you’re big or thin, hungry or not.
You’ll actually LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Exciting news. Fall is here, which means it’s time for YOU to take your journey to body-love seriously and create a shift that will rock your life now.
INTRODUCING FALLing into Body-Love – 21 Days to really dive into the symbolic nature of fall: letting go of painful beliefs and body-shame while you sink into the luxurious comfort and relief of soft blankets and transition into a new way of being with food and your body.
Here’s what will happen when YOU join FALLing into Body-Love:
- You’ll Begin to Embrace Your Body
- You’ll Ease Into Being At Peace With Your Weight
- You’ll Release Shame, Fear and Guilt
- You’ll Tap Into Balance with Food
- You’ll Have More Fun IN and WITH your body
- You’ll Find a New Way of Being in Your Body
And here’s what we’ll be covering in FALLing into Body-Love:
- Cycles of Weight and Allowing Yourself to Surrendering to Change with Ease
- Letting Go of the internal weight that is keeping you down
- Transitions and Transformations
- Finding Your Inner Light
- New beginnings: Fall is the PERFECT time to step into a new way of living INTO body-love
- Comfort and Balance
- How to Have Fun IN Your Body in this special Season
Feels good?
It does, doesn’t it?
Oh, I canNOT wait to go through this transformation with you.
We’ll start on October 3rd.
Want to FALL into Body Love? Ready to tune into these beautiful seasonal energies to create transformation and let go of the pain you’ve been holding?
Sign up here: >>> http://bit.ly/2gnGBai <<<
Oh and I have 3 spots available for those of you who are PUMPED and ready to start next week.
For $747 you get the FALLing into Body-Love AND 1:1 support.
That includes 1 call each week for the next 3 weeks leading up up to the program, the program, and then 2 more calls after the program to integrate the change.
Do you feel the transformation starting already?
I can feel it, I know, I am so ready to support you through it. Are you?
Send me an email at [email protected] if you want the 1:1 support.
Spots WILL fill up, so be quick.
Again, here’s the link to sign up for the program: >>> http://bit.ly/2gnGBai <<<
#fallingintobodylove
