The other day, I read a blog post called “this is how I want to be loved”
and it got me thinking
have you ever asked yourself
how you want to be loved by your body?
or
even more importantly
how you want to love your body?
Have you ever even thought of the fact
that the two of you
your body and yourself
are in a relationship?
One that has started –
and I know I said it before –
on the day you were conceived?
Have you ever even dared to look at the way you treat your body
like abuse?
Severe abuse?
That you engage in on a daily basis
voluntarily
against your own self?
Have you ever even considered that
you have the power
the responsibility
to change it all.
In a split of a second?
With the decision to love your body,
to respect her
like you would the love of your life?
But maybe you don’t
and you don’t even know what respect
body-respect
even feels like anymore.
But maybe you don’t
and you don’t even want to respect your body
because
after all
nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
And maybe
even though you don’t
you do
want to regain the peace
the respect
the love that you’ve had at one point.
And though maybe
even if it’s just a tiny glimmer in the back of your mind
you realize
you acknowledge
in the dark nights of your loneliness
and shame
that yes,
your body,
the body you will have for the rest of your life,
deserves respect.
That your body,
the body that is working tirelessly for you,
every second of every day,
deserves to be loved.
By you.
So, how do you want to be loved by your body?
And how do you want to love your body?
The first question doesn’t even matter because your body
loves you.
Sure, she does.
You’re here – that’s all the evidence you need.
But how do you
with your everyday decisions
your thoughts
your actions
love on your body?
Do you?
Or do you hurt
hurt
hurt
every second of every day?
Can you see how you’re killing yourself?
Your self-confidence?
Your life?
By not even acknowledging that your body is a part of you –
not the most important part for sure
but it IS a part of you –
that needs to be treated in a way that uplifts you
that celebrates your life.
And though this sounds all kinds of woo-woo,
trust me,
it’s not.
It hurts to not love your body.
It hurts to want to twist it
bend it
shape it
for others.
It hurts to not respect your body.
It hurts to want to cut off your fat
because – why? –
someone
somewhere
in a place you don’t even remember
made a stupid comment?
It hurts to not celebrate your body.
It hurts to want to loathe every inch of your skin
because – why? –
it doesn’t look like the photoshopped version
of a model that lives on cotton balls and water?
And no, it doesn’t hurt good.
It’s not a pain that inspires positive changes in your life.
It’s not a means to an end that helps you to create habits for health
wellbeing
your sanity.
Instead, this hatred,
this pain,
tears you apart.
So, yeah,
how are you going to love your body?
How are you going to change your abusive relationship with her
to one that is based on how you treat everyone in your life?
Well, hopefully you do treat them with the respect and dignity they deserve.
But why not your body?
That entity that IS you but isn’t really you.
How are you going to stop lying?
Berating?
Cheating?
Killing your confidence?
And destroying it with food, restriction, overexercising?
How are you going to feel when you love your body?
But, more importantly,
how is your body going to feel when you love her?
How is your life going to change?
Your experience of the world?
How are you going to wake up in the morning
knowing that today is just another day
where you deepen your relationship with
the aspect of you that you have never really dared to own?
And no, it’s not noble to deny your body affection
kindness
tenderness
and warmth.
It’s not noble to want to destroy your body
to kill your fat
to attack yourself.
Just like you wouldn’t want to destroy your partner –
hopefully, that is.
Just like you wouldn’t want to attack the people you truly love.
Why your body, then?
Again, because some people,
somewhere
in some genius version of marketing
decided that thin is BEST.
And that being STICK thin is the highest form of personal achievement –
more important than family
wellbeing
health
love
living your freaking life?!
You know better than that.
You KNOW
don’t you?
that life is about more than your exact weight
shape
and your daily calorie allowance.
You KNOW
don’t you?
that your weight is not a direction indicator of your health
your daily choices
your “diet”.
You KNOW
don’t you
that your body deserves more
that YOU are entitled to live a life based on YOUR desires
not society’s
based on YOUR values
not society’s
based on the beating of YOUR heart
not anyone else’s.
You KNOW
I hope
that this is not true for everyone BUT you
but this is the truth you can
need to
don’t you want to?
base your life on.
How will you love your body?
Hold her?
Dance with her?
Let her know
with your actions
words
beliefs
and daily choices
that you love her?
Starting today.
Not after you’ve killed your fat.
Not after you’ve thrown fifteen hours of abuse at her.
Not after you’ve tried yet another senseless round of Weight Watchers.
Today,
break off your abusive relationship with the myth of thin worthiness.
Today,
grab your stuff, leave the keys and just leave that part of your life that no longer works.
Today,
cut the cord and run.
Run away from what hasn’t worked for decades
and instead
turn towards the relationship your entire being truly craves.
The one you’ll be in forever
and ever
and ever.
There’s no other choice.
No other way.
No getting out.
You and your body
are one
and then
you’re not.
So, treat her right.
And ask yourself
with sincerity
complete vulnerability
and radical honesty
how in the world you’re going to love her
starting now
until you take your last breath.
Because that is it –
you both are in this together
and what would be better than walking this path with affection
mutual respect
and the knowledge that no matter what happens
you two are solid.
Good.
Able to survive whatever life throws at you.
Because –
in the end –
the two of you
got this.
If you choose to.
We’re about to start a Body Image Deep Dive in the Tribe.
If you are serious about changing your life – and not just talking the talk – join us in exploring all the ways you can and will treat your body with love.
