You come home from school, exhausted, hungry, ready to take a few moments to breathe, relax and let the stress of the day fall away.

You enter the door and my brother is already standing there, ready to attack, ready to abuse. And here comes the daily avalanche of nastiness ensues: You’re so stupid. You can’t do a thing, you failure, you. Look how fat you are. Nobody likes you. Your classmates hate you. Stupid. Idiot. Blah blah blah

You want it to stop. You don’t want to listen. But these words echo in your brain for years to come.

Now, you don’t have to have an abusive brother to start telling yourself a story of not being skinny enough, smart enough, creative enough or giving enough and of ultimately not being loved. 

We all have old stories, childhood insecurities and beliefs, that stalk us in the middle of the night or  bump into us at every corner on our way to work.

We all heavily rely on beliefs we picked up years ago that now serve as hurtful, unfair reminders in the back of our mind or quite loudly, openly in the front of our every experiences, telling us what we can and can’t do, how we can and can’t love, who we are and who we’re not.

The thing is though…

We never stop and ask ourselves if these beliefs are even true! Why should we? They become part of our identity, part of our life and they give us safety, comfort and support. Dangerous, really. Very comforting though. 

Time to change, don’t you think?

Watch and learn how you can let go of your old story and write a new one that will rock your life.

Again, we all have old stories. It’s a natural part of life, but we can also all change our stories.

It’s up to you to do the work. 

Here are a few guidelines that can lead you on your hours of reflection and changing.

1. Become aware of your old story!

What is your old story? How many stories do you have? Where do these old stories come from? Why have you adopted them as the truth?

Don’t hold back here and be completely honest with yourself. The you write from the heart the more you’ll be able to dig up the deeply ingrained beliefs you didn’t even know you had.

2. How has this old story impacted you?

Spend some time thinking about the ways your old story hurts you or keeps you from living fully, loving deeply and trusting without problems. The more detailed you can describe the abuse this story has done to you, the more you’ll see why it’s important to exchange it with a new one.

3. Investigate if your old story is even true

What do the facts tell you? Has your experience in life really showed you that your story is valid? Or have you just always assumed it to be that way? If you keep an open mind, this exercise will hold many surprises for you!

This might be tricky because your old story will try to keep you from moving forward in life and love. Here’s how it might go down:

Old story: You are a fat pig and nobody is going to like you if you don’t lose at least 20 pounds. Fast.

You: I may carry around more weight than I want to but I am still surrounded by many people who love me.

Old Story: Yeah right! As if they really cared for you. They’re with you because they pity you or simply feel they need to take care of you. Just like in high school. 

You: Thank you for wanting to look at for me and keeping me from being hurt, but right now, you are hurting me and nobody else. My friends spend time with me because they see the real me and they have fun with me, just as much fun as I have with them. Looks or pity have nothing to do with this. 

Old Story: But don’t you remember what this person told you 10 years ago? It’s still true today. Nothing’s changed!

You: I adopted this belief back then because I was scared and I didn’t know any better. Today, I realize that no matter how much I weigh, no matter what I wear, I’m perfect the way I am. I am loveable and I know that the people who care about me feel the same way.

I’ve had many conversations with my old story and it always tries to keep me stuck. It’s essential to stay in the present then and share how it feels right now, how your life looks right now and what the facts are telling you right now.

Sometimes, yes, your old story turns out to still be true. 

That’s great! Because now you’re aware of it and now you get the chance to change and write a better, more compelling story for yourself while making the necessary changes in your life.

4. Write your new story!

This is the fun part.

How do you want your new story to be like? How do you want to feel? What do you want to do, achieve, discover? Write down the story about yourself and focus on who you already are as a person or want to be: confident, happy, free, delighted, curious, friendly, world-changing, outgoing, introspective, giving, caring, growing, transforming…. The possibilities are endless. Just keep in mind that your story is your story alone!

Take a few moments to think back on everything that you have already achieved and draw from that, seeing that you are capable, that you are powerful and that the beliefs you’ve carried with you for so many years are false!

This is a powerful exercise that can change your entire life. So, give yourself this opportunity for a new life and a new you!

Your old story will come up during this process trying to convince you to walk the other way. Don’t give it this power and revert back to the sample dialogue I gave you above! Talk with your fears and remind them that love rules!

Which old story have you been telling yourself over the years? Are you ready to let it go? Share with us what you’re going to do to break free from false beliefs and how you’re going to finally start living.

Bye bye, dusty old story! Hello and welcome, new life!

xxx, Anne-Sophie