Dear body,
my wonderful body.
I owe you a big thank you –
today and every day –
for everything that you have done.
I owe you a huge apology –
today and every day –
for everything that I have put you through.
Because of you,
I am able to feel, to breathe, to sing.
Because of you,
I am here.
Because of you,
I am able to experience every aspect of our planet.
See my child.
Because of you,
I HAD a child.
Dear body,
my wonderful, beautiful body.
I haven’t always been kind to you.
In fact, for most of my life, I was awful.
I hated you.
Everything about you repulsed me.
I hated how you looked.
I hated how you felt.
I hated everything you had to offer.
I wanted you to be different.
I wanted you to be prettier.
I wanted you to be tall and lean and thin.
I was so insecure and just wanted you to be perfect,
believing that it would make me happy,
that it would fill my soul.
I was so sad and just wanted you to give me my joy –
the joy that I couldn’t feel inside.
I thought that if only you were better –
whatever that really means –
that deep gaping hole inside would slowly fade away
to make room for love,
for light.
Oh how wrong I was.
It was never about you.
I had to go inside, but that’s besides the point.
Because, dear body, I owe you.
Big time.
You have always been by my side.
Every day, in every way.
You kept my heart beating,
you my lungs breathing,
you kept my thoughts going –
although, thinking about it,
it would’ve been nice to not think for a while.
But you worked.
Tirelessly.
For me.
Despite my hatred.
Despite my thanklessness.
You kept going.
Day in, day out.
For me.
I am here today to tell you how much I appreciate you.
How much I love you.
The road to reconnect hasn’t been easy – as you know,
but boy has it been worth it.
Seeing you for what you are has turned my life upside down.
Thank you for allowing me to be the person I am today.
It’s because of you that I see our world the way I do.
It’s because of you that I can show up and make a difference.
It’s because of you that I can create, give, serve and love.
I know now that living in harmony with you is the only way to move from an awful existence to a true life.
I know now that connecting with you daily, doing whatever it takes to be present with you, is necessary for a phenomenal, full life.
I know now that whatever issues in life I have, whatever I feel, it its never your fault, so taking it out of you will only deepen suffering inside.
Shaping you, hurting you, making you go through painful workouts just to hit a number on the scale? That’s all in the past.
Starving you or stuffing you with food is not an option anymore.
I am taking care of you –
the way that you are taking care of me.
And body, my dear, ever-changing body,
I am committed to you.
Committed to loving you through thick and thin (oh yes!), treating you with tenderness and warmth; be that through my thoughts or actions; because I know that without you: l will be done in this world.
No number on the scale, no diet in the world will ever make me feel the way that being in alignment with you does.
No jeans size – however small – can create the exuberance and intimacy that I experience when I am not at war with you, when I put the boxing gloves down and instead just allow the two of us to flow.
Moving, not exercising.
Eating, not restricting.
Enjoying, not dieting.
There’s no going back to the way I’ve been, the way I’ve treated you, the way I’ve wounded us.
I’ve hurt you – without reason.
I’ve hated you – without any sense of reality.
I’ve acted against every signal you’ve ever given me – out of fear that being “fat”, that losing control would be the end of my world.
The world as I knew it.
Which was an awful world anyway and I am so happy I left it behind,
moved into a world filled with opportunities, filled with energy, filled with emotion and LIFE.
I see others doing the same to their bodies and I am hurting for them.
I see their misery.
I see their pain.
And I wish I could just tell them how mind-blowing it is to be WITH the body, to be on the same team.
I wish I could give them a glimpse into how great it feels to not be hungry all the time, to not be dieting all the time, to not go from starving to binging on a daily basis.
I wish they knew.
If they did, there’d be no option other than coming back home to you.
Dear body,
my wonderful body,
I thank you
for everything you do,
you’ve done.
It’s because of you that I get to write these words.
It’s because of you that I get to hug my son.
It’s because of you that I get to laugh and cry, cheer my clients on and love up on my friends.
It’s because of you that I am growing each and every day.
I vow to never stop appreciating.
I vow to never stand in the way of your innate wisdom again.
I vow to treat you with gentleness.
I vow to look at you with wonder – the way you deserve to be seen.
I vow to laugh with you – because you do crack me up.
I vow to be by your side – the way you’ve always been by mine.
With unconditional love.
Never faltering to cater to me.
Not on my darkest nights,
not in the brightest light.
You’re in it for the long haul and so am I.
Dear body,
thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
