“When it comes down to disappointing other people and disappointing yourself, you’ve got to choose other people every time. That’s your path in life – to disappoint as many people as you can to avoid disappointing yourself.” – Viola Davis
Viola Davis’s words strike a powerful chord for many of us. How often do we sacrifice our own happiness and well-being to avoid disappointing others? It’s a common struggle, especially for women who juggle various roles and responsibilities. But here’s the radical truth: it’s okay to disappoint others if it means staying true to yourself.
The Pain of Disappointment
Let’s be real—disappointing others, especially those close to us, is tough. Whether it’s family, friends, or colleagues, the fear of letting them down can be paralyzing. The fallout can be intense, filled with hurt, anger, and guilt. But here’s the thing: constantly putting others first leads to a slow erosion of your own needs and desires. Over time, you lose sight of who you are and what truly matters to you.
The Necessity of Choosing Yourself
Choosing yourself isn’t about being selfish; it’s about self-preservation and authenticity. When you continually sideline your own needs, you start to lose your sense of self. You might think you’re keeping the peace, but in reality, you’re creating inner turmoil. Disappointing yourself is far worse than disappointing others because it leads to a life of regret and unfulfilled potential.
Facing the Fallout
Yes, there will be fallout. Tough conversations, emotional moments, and even conflict are part of the process. It’s natural to feel scared and hurt when you choose to prioritize yourself. But remember, this discomfort is temporary and necessary for growth. Each time you stand up for your own needs, you’re teaching others to respect your boundaries and your journey.
Embracing Discomfort for Growth
The path of self-empowerment is not easy. It requires courage to face the immediate pain of disappointing others for the long-term gain of personal fulfillment. You might encounter resistance, but it’s crucial to stay firm. Over time, those who truly care about you will understand and respect your choices.
The Ripple Effect of Authenticity
When you choose yourself, you set a powerful example for those around you. You show them that it’s possible to live authentically and prioritize self-care without losing compassion for others. This ripple effect can inspire those in your circle to do the same, creating a community where everyone’s needs are respected.
Practical Steps to Start Choosing Yourself
- Set Clear Boundaries: Identify what you need and communicate it clearly to those around you. Boundaries are essential for maintaining your well-being.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during this process. Acknowledge that it’s okay to put yourself first and that you’re worthy of your own care and attention.
- Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive people who understand and respect your journey. Sometimes, professional guidance from a coach or therapist can also be invaluable.
- Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on your needs and desires. Journaling, meditation, and mindfulness practices can help you stay connected to your inner self.
Conclusion
Choosing to disappoint others to avoid disappointing yourself is a bold and necessary act of self-love. It’s about reclaiming your power and living in alignment with your true self. The journey might be challenging, but the rewards are profound. By prioritizing your own needs, you create a life of authenticity, fulfillment, and joy. And in doing so, you not only empower yourself but also inspire those around you to embrace their own paths with courage and conviction.
Remember, you are worth it. Choose yourself, embrace the discomfort, and watch as your world transforms into one where your needs are honored, and your spirit is free.
