New on the Blog
… and I smile
Trains rush by. I stand still. The icy wind biting at my face. Trains come and go. But I don’t move. I watch. Notice. Listen. Detaching. More trains. I take a deep, long breath. Inhale. Exhale. Trains stop. Doors open. Decisions to make. Get in. Step back. I close my...
About Being Whole
Each of us has a unique, fascinating, and ever changing relationship with food. And oftentimes we feel that this unique relationship with food and our body is so screwed up, so painful and horribly twisted in guilt, shame and fear that we'll never ever be able to heal...
Shake it Up!
Confession! I haven't been journaling. Like at all. For at least 2 months. My journal is open, right next to me, but there are no words than want to come out, no thoughts that want to be spilled on those beautiful pages. Or maybe there's just a huge barrier in my...
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to
This is a mantra I used to repeat when I was weaning myself off my exercise addiction. I knew that I could work out for 4 hours a day, I knew that I could live off hardly any food, I knew that I could make it through the days starved and weak, I knew I could survive....
You Can’t Fight Your Biology
Here’s something you have to understand if you are truly committed to escaping diet prison: You cannot and will not - ever - be able to fight biology. You might be able to hurt your body for a while, maybe a few years, maybe even decades, but eventually, your biology...
I had a dream
I had a dream last night. I walked into my apartment. I have never seen this apartment in real life, but I knew it was mine. I had been there before. Many times. But I hadn't been there in a while. I walked into my apartment, looked through the window and straight at...
If you want it, go do it
Don't let anyone ever tell you that it can't be done. Don't let that voice - you know which one - ever tell you you're too weak, too fat, too plain, too uneducated, too loud, too short, too this or that. Don't let anyone - especially that someone - keep you from...
If I were smaller, I….
If I were smaller, I'd feel more normal. If I were smaller, I'd feel more worthy. If I were smaller, I'd feel more whole. If I were smaller, I'd feel less "obtrusive". If I were smaller, I'd be able to hide. Naturally. We make up a myriad of stories about the silver...
Life always gives you exactly what you need
I haven't really written in a while. 2 weeks to be exact - which for me feels like a lifetime. Well, I've written. Thousands upon thousands of words - in my diary - mostly about the same exact situation. I've journaled, yes, but I haven't written. I've been hiding....
This “Pretend” Thing We’ve Got Going On Isn’t Cool Anymore
I saw this super cute young couple at the beach: totally in love, cuddling on the beach, intertwined, ALL over each other. They're in love - obviously. And it's beautiful - obviously. And it got me thinking about my ex and I lying on the beach in Italy 2 years ago,...
Ahhhh, there you are
There comes a time when you have to let go. There comes a day when you have to surrender. There comes a moment when you know deep down that what you've been holding onto just doesn't serve you anymore. You feel it in your heart. In your soul. In your every cell....
I Used to Be a Drama Queen
****CONFESSION**** I am a DRAMA addict. I LOVE drama. I CRAVE drama. I CREATE drama. And I bathe myself in it. In a way I've always known I had this dramatic streak but I truly acknowledged it the other day when talking to one of my best friends about my business. I...