On day 4 of our Body Image Interview Series, Annette Sloan shares how she was able to create deep healing by letting go of shame and secrecy around her struggles with her body and food.

“No matter where you are, if you’re paying attention, you’ll find a richness there.”

Dana Jackson

Growing up, how did you feel about your body?

I don’t remember thinking about my body much until around 3^rd or 4^th grade. At that age, I went through a definite chubby phase, which I was self-conscious about. I remember the first time I deliberately avoided eating because I thought food was making me fat.

I was a very picky eater and avoided most vegetables – but I loved mashed potatoes (and I still do!). My mom made them almost every night, and I always ate them with gusto. However, at some point, I connected the mashed potatoes to my chubbiness, and I started avoiding them.

When did your body image struggles start?

In middle school. I remember walking home from school with my best friend one day in 7^th grade. I’m not certain how the conversation got there, but at some point she started talking about her ‘thunder thighs.’ I was so relieved to hear her say that, because I felt the same way about my thighs. I said so and we bonded over all of the things we hated about our bodies.

However, my true body image struggle started later, when I was around 16.

Although I wasn’t overweight, I decided that I needed to lose 15 pounds to look more like the models, actresses, and everyday ‘hot’ girls at my school.

So, I become very interested in being ‘healthy’ – but I didn’t really know what that meant. I thought it was all about calories, and I began counting calories obsessively. This was the beginning of an unhealthy relationship with food that lasted more than a decade.

What bothered you most about your body?

My stomach – because it wasn’t flat, and my butt and thighs – because I had cellulite.

What was the moment you knew you had to change something about your body image?

I didn’t have a specific moment when things shifted – it was a series of moments over a long period of time.

What helped you most during your healing journey?

My yoga practice. Through yoga, I learned to honor my body and to practice self-compassion. (More on that here).

Telling my story. For a very long time, my struggle with food and body was a deeply-held secret. When I finally found the courage to tell others about it, I released the shame that I had carried around for so long. This was deeply healing.

There is always a positive reason behind unwanted behaviors. {Click to Tweet}

What lessons did you learn along the way?

The biggest lesson I learned was that there is always a positive reason behind unwanted behaviors. When I learned this, I was able to stop blaming myself for what I had perceived to be weakness in not having enough willpower to eat the way I thought I ‘should.’

As I began to explore the positive reasons behind my food and body struggles, my self-awareness grew immensely, as did my sense of self-worth. {Click to Tweet}

How do you feel about your body now?

Most days, I look in the mirror feeling incredibly grateful for my body and what it allows me to do. My body is strong and capable. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to experience the beauty and wonder of life.

That being said, I still occasionally have days when I don’t like what I see in the mirror. On these days, I note my feelings – and then make a conscious choice not to dwell on them. My energy is much better spent in other ways!

What’s one tip you can give readers to finally feel at home in their body?

Make a commitment to yourself to focus on doing things that enhance your sense of self-worth. It could be therapy or dance or the practice of random acts of kindness, or a million other things. The only requirement is that it makes you feel good. As you develop a stronger sense of self-worth, you will naturally start to pay less attention to food and body issues – because you’re consciously choosing to spend your energy in more productive ways.

Also: hang out with people who are confident in their bodies! It’s impossible for us not to be influenced by the people we spend our time with – so make a purposeful choice to hang out with people who set a positive example.

Annette Sloan is a Denver-based health coach, speaker, and yoga instructor. In 2014, she combined what she’s learned from her professional path as a health educator with lessons from her personal journey in creating a healthy relationship with food, body, and self to launch (w)holehearted, a business specializing in compassionate health coaching for teen girls. Annette loves empowering teens and women of all ages to find their happiest, healthiest, most authentic selves. Connect with Annette on her website and on Facebook.